'What are your intentions, concerning your relationship with Computer Science?' W h o are you ?
Oh my, background & intentions
"Do explain your interest in self-es·teem" confidence in one's own abilities "Bring your A game"
More importantly, embark with me on a journey...onto a road less travelled, but ever so profitable.
To begin: When you learn [as I’ve learned, through work no less]. When you blend different criteria- balance this against that [in teaching/the educational field, how well a student does this vs. how poorly they do that- holistically: what is their grasp of the material? Also... how do we measure that precisely, and teach it], you get a feel for it, a sense. The subtle nuances. When you have that, you've 'got it’ [mastered the subject]. That's what we need to provide those learning programming. It's the road less travelled for sure, but much more profitable [to the students, and society as well]. It will stick [with them, through thick and thin- once you 'get it'... you have it; you keep it]. = abilities
And…Who do I think I am? [some unedited, stream of consciousness (continuous flow of) writing added, for clarity]
I should have known it from the start… As a student, I enjoyed and aced placement tests. I remember thinking, "[in a way:] bring it; c'mon, this should be fun; please test me- I want to see what I know; that's the best you can do?" And, now, I'm on the other side of those assessments- I see how they're set up [the desired unbiased nature of them also], how they're evaluated. I always wondered who'd be reading my essays [I felt a little self conscious about what they would think...- hasn't changed, (It's still there) in the (right) here and (right) now- though I continue writing and writing]- subsequently; now I know [who does it; how it works]. And, I take pleasure when students ace the tests [I root for them].
My, 'blah blah blah ["do, go on and explain"]' , [background]…I’m told I’m part of the Academia. We'll see.
I’m a writer first (and foremost). My interview included an extemporaneous essay- for which I quickly scribbled down a rough draft and asked, ‘How much time do I have?” I could keep writing and writing. [My interest in a] Keynote coming: I picked a complex subject [but of course]: self-esteem, as a major problem in the Educational System. I still believe this to be true [see ch. 21, my attempt at presenting this vitally important topic to a prominent institution of higher learning- just in case they weren't fully aware of the dire implications of such a pervasive troubling achilles heel plaguing many in this country that could be reached; this could be changed; it should be changed; oh, let me try- stokes my need to solve complex, nearly impossible sounding problems on a large scale. As if... As if I could enlighten and provoke them into action on a large scale, (it would have to be on a large-scale) as previously mentioned- not sure if they're up to it. It takes time to dissect the parts, define the underlying problems, plan to reach definable/measurable goals- all while, the noise of constant reminders to recognize the importance of such a task reverberates in the background, in the utopian scenerio, that is].
I have an extensive background in, poking around within the educational process. Sparked an interest in pedagogy [how we learn; the process of]. I was always interested in how I learn- analyzing that to the nth degree. If I can figure that out, maybe I can help others learn [more productively, more efficiently, more enjoyably].
I achieved so called ‘Master’ status in my field long ago. 2 diff. companies, for umpteen yrs. [with some overlap: worked at both for 3 of those umpteen yrs.] - worked with many State Boards of Education [understanding their criteria/ agreeing upon their rubrics]. All this, and you have to perform as quickly as you possibly can: pick it up, be able to balance, look for 7 different criteria at once to holistically determine, in agreement with others’ views… the numeric value of what you're analyzing.
For consistent quality, one needs to continually prove one's proficiency- simply said: one has to pass assessments at the beginning of said project, and sometimes, on a daily basis to calibrate [fine tune] one's perception of, and subseqent usage of, the established guidelines. Bring your A game or you can't play here.
I have calibrated [passed assessments] for each of the following, for example [yes, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander; I’m tested, as they are]:
[Partial Curriculum Vitae:] OH Graduation Reading Field Test, OH Graduation Test: Reading; OH 9th Grade Writing Test: Narrative; OH 9th Grd Writing Test: Expository; OH 9th Grd Writing Test: Topic One-Descriptive; OH 9th Grd Writing Test: Topic One-Expository; OH 9th Grd Writing Test: Analytics; OH 9th Grd Writing Test: Topic One-Narrative; OH 9th Grd Writing Test: Topic Two-Descriptive; OH 9th Grd Writing Test: Topic One; OH 9th Grd Writing Test: Topic Two; OH 9th Grd Writing Test: Descriptive; [honors]OH 12th Grade Writing Test: Topic One-Persuasive; [honors]OH 12th Grade Writing Test: Topic Two-Narrative; DE.Performance Assessment: Content-Grade 8; DE Performance Assessment: Expository-Grade 8; NJGrade 8 Proficiency Assessment Picture Writing; New_Paterson Operational; NJGrade 8 Proficiency Assessment: Revise & Edit Field Test; NJHigh School Proficiency Assessment: Revise and Edit Field Test; NJGrade 8 Proficiency Assessment Field Test; NJEarly Warning Test; MD School Performance Assessment Program: Grade 8; MDSchool Performance Assessment Program; Riverside ITBS; Merced City Schools District Writing Assignment; Prince William County Public School Research Writing Project; DE Performance Assessment 3rd Grade Narrative; DEPerformance Assessment: Content-Grade 8; DEPerformance Assessment: Expository-Grade 8; LA Educational Assessment Program Writing Test: Analytics; LAEducational Assessment Program Writing Test: Grade 10; Smarter Balance – Math, Reading; ELPA ; SAWS; ITOEIC [10+yrs] (International Communication- oriented towards professionals & companies).
*Assessments were/are scored on varying 3 pt., 4 pt., 5 pt., or 6 pt [12thgrade honors], grading scales [per rubric]. LEAP [LA], 4 different scores for each student's paper [4 rubrics]. Different assessments/and grade levels within SAWS, Smarter Balance, ELPA. 3 different assessments within ITOEIC [constant, daily calibration required for employees to be on the same page & remain consistent in their evaluations].
{ end of newly-added info }
That being said: I came across a field I became interested in: Computer Science, esp. programming.
How does a computer work? 1’s and 0’s they tell me; electrical impulses do this and that [even make pictures, videos at the speed of light it seems]. Found out, I have the ability, each one of us does, to actually dictate what I want my computer to do and it will obey my commands [command line…]. Technology has so much potential to reach, to teach, to enable…the list goes on and on.
But, I hit a wall on my journey. Smacked right into- ‘this is awkward’ on to “Why?” “What do I mean?” on to “I need to define it” [the problem/s, to be able to attempt to fix it--- fix it- now, that’s interesting- who am I to even begin to think I could do anything, and to think I could promote a fix!?]. Wait a minute…
I do have interest in CS, passion- that will keep me delving into the ‘problem/s’ and thinking [the ‘hmmm’ moments that will result]. I have interest and background in the learning process, by way of determining proficiency in a subject. I also have experience in the Business world on computer systems that were so irritatingly inefficient… you just wanted to throw the piece of machinery out the window. There must be a way to master this, this piece of equipment. Who’s bigger, me or it? Who’s stronger? I can take ‘em. I have a mind. It only follows instruction. Leader….Follower. Equals = possibility. It would be best to befriend my misguided but well-intentioned computation producing machine. I need to learn its background to be better able to change it, make it a better person- oh I mean, a better processor [of information]. You may say, ‘what about AI?’ ‘It can think’. Who really wins that contest? It’s not nearly as creative. It cannot take its memory and put the pieces together quite the way a human mind can- we can go off on tangents and come up with something unique [did an apple really hit Newton on the head and then he thought…?] Humans still have to teach the machinery. It has to be given everything it needs to use [information]. Sure, it can calculate at astronomical speeds, and with astronomical amounts of data, but I have the creative edge. It exists to assist me. It exists to do the wide and wonderful things I can dream of telling it to do. I do think this’ll work out [this complex relationship] and it’ll be fun [for me anyway].
Define ‘relationship’:
I analyze computers. I’m not sure I want a deep relationship with one yet [actually programming], but I am intensely interested in them. How they think, what they can do, what more they aren’t doing that they should be able to do, how they can become better [I enjoy improving things] … I watch, notice- pick up on this and that, try to replicate it in words, write a description of them…. I study them- little facets over here, over there; find myself checking them out from across the room. I dance around the subject of becoming more serious [program? Really, you want me to…program- is that where it’s at?]. Superficially attracted to them it seems- what’s on the surface. But, oh, how I’m secretively interested in taking them apart to find out how they make decisions/think/operate in a given situation, in complex situations. I want to know them better- I am intrigued, no other words say it as effectively. Albeit, I want to avoid the complications [how they can be so inefficient as to provoke such frustration; how they aren’t thinking how to do something new/how to be more creative but productive]. I want it to remain fun. I want to enjoy the process of analyzing, learning about, being curious of, thinking about them in a positive way. I don’t want them to ruin ‘it’ for me….the educational process, the pedagogy or how we learn--- why, what makes us want to learn- the sheer joy of learning and thinking about… Intriguing. Let us not get bogged down, so to speak, in the complexities that we become overwhelmed and stagnate. Too many complications [vs. obtainable solutions of problems] will stop you. f r o m . l e a r n i n g . [as these punctuation marks (.) are defined to do].
Alas, I will get to know you more…[Dear computer, your make-up and capabilities] in time. Computers= complex, able to leap small buildings in a single bound, oh no I went too far there; but seriously, the possibilities. This must be how inventors during the Industrial Revolution allowed themselves to think- of the possibilities… Driven, with a positive attitude, in hopes of, while thinking about, while thinking they could, when determining what can be done… thinking about what could do it [computers], and how…[that is the question]. Thinking. [So, Continue thinking/ processing/ weeding out the relevant information] . . . . . . . . ”processing [please wait]” {We do have that in common: we both process [a lot- in data/info. amt. and frequency]. [Where have you been all my life- right in front of my face? Really. Couldn’t be…I didn’t realize…see your…ascertain your significance] [I think] This is the beginning of a beautiful…[relation]…ship} And so it/ the story/ goes
What drives my interest:
Likened to when the first books were written and sparingly distributed- imagine the excitement. Words were put into print [ink]; it evolved the process of the transfer of information from speech into something tangible you can refer to later, becoming more than just travelling storytellers that gave us something to dream about, to remember, to incorporate into our experiences, our lives. Books. Stored information. Logically organized for optimum usability. Now, go in your mind from the first books to all the books [stored usable information] we have present day. Transfer that over to computers. Go from the first computers to all we have present day, and press on to what will be. Herein lies my interest. The progression of this field, of this device [that computes, puts things together, composes pictures and video now—from punchcards/magnetic tape to this (picts), et al].
P.S.
[random, superfluous, describing where I am, concerning this invention named ‘computer’]
In a world where everything is about doing- what are you going to do in CS? I’m stuck in admiration of, plain and simple. Of computers [I’m passionate about computers, only not in the conventional sense- of, ‘just get a job in the field already’]. I don’t really know what to do with it- I should be doing something. I have a deep interest. Artists come up with a representation of something they like i.e., paintings of nature. Shakespeare composed, used words to describe, presented illustrations [painted pictures with words, told stories]. What would he do if he liked computers? Be at a loss for words [way to describe; unable to come up with some semblance of a career]?
It’s as though I’m searching for something, maybe a new branch in this field of Computer Science- one I can throw myself wholly into, where I’d love what I’m doing. Only it doesn’t exist yet. ‘Do something, lest you do nothing.’ I know; I know. I’m trying. I’m looking over here; I’m looking over there, even in this spot. It’s a: ‘I’ll know when I find it’, frustrating predicament. Watching others pursue their 'thing'. Similar to Edison [inventing, thinking]: ’No, it’s not finished; I need to make it do this first; where’s my something or other to fix this, to add to it. What am I missing.’ Forming it, like clay over and over- pulling it apart, shaping it, bringing form to it again- ‘no that’s not quite right, what I want. Hmmm.’ Having an inkling, but not a plan. The only way through this is to write until some parts connect [where I can connect the dots to now have lines forming something, instead of nothing but random dots filling up the page]. So, I have a passion for computers, and can/will use something about them in an avenue that doesn’t exist yet. Hmm.
Some stream-of-consciousness notes [or ‘What is Passion’]:
Figuring writing my observations about you down in some sort of poetic rendition? Should I compose a sonnet what would it take how can I accurately express delve into figure you out adequately to satisfy my interest/ introspective thoughts about you and your complexities and vast capabilities
I’m as curious as a cat playfully toying with you and thoroughly enjoying it [thinking about you] wrap your mind around ‘that’ “what-all” computers can do [are doing, can {future} do] exciting the prospects, and the seeing it [many “it” s] come to fruition
Others are caught in only what you can do for them, I’m caught up in the wonder of it all [you] you make me wonder; you make me think how attractive you are to me right now I don’t know what to do with you I will keep learning [more] about you maybe I can create something new for you to do [intertwining]
Likened to writing poetry about something intriguing, beautifully complex, and highly capable powerful, though I can’t harness its power in any efficiency [efficient & tremendously useful purpose- oh but I’ll find something for you to do, something new & exciting] it’s your inner workings and for-all-the-world-to-see-outputs that intrigue
It’s in the admiring of [you] I am lost.